Musings and History

Quote of the day:
“A study shows that the average man uses 60 calories in 30 minutes of foreplay. Listen, a guy that engages in 30 minutes of foreplay is not the average man.”
                                                                 Jay Leno

Trivia question of the day:
What is the family name of the present and 7 past generations of rulers of Monaco?  Answer at the end of the blog.

                              This Date in History   May 1

1863 On this date began the first day of the Battle of Chancellorsville, Virginia. It was in this battle that the superior battle savvy of CSA Generals Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson became known to the world. The Union army in that area known as the Army of the Potomac and had been through several commanders and all had their asses handed to them by CSA General R.E. Lee. The newest one was US General Joseph “Fighting Joe” Hooker. Hooker relieved US General Ambrose Burnside after the disastrous Fredericksburg winter campaign where Burnside lost 14,000 to Lee’s 5,000. Now was the best chance the Union army ever had. The Army of the Potomac numbered 133,000 and Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia numbered 60,000. The Confederate corps under the command of CSA General James Longstreet was on detached duty to the south. Hooker’s plan was a good one. He was going to pin down the Confederates that were dug in on the flat plain of the Rappahannock River and then head upstream with a substantial number of troops, cross the river and attack Lee from the rear. Lee surmised that Hooker had this in mind and detached most of his troops and headed upstream to meet Hooker’s flanking attack leaving CSA General Jubal Early and his corps dug in on the flat plain. Lee and Hooker met just north of the Wilderness and a battle ensued. Hooker was baffled to think that Lee had correctly guessed his strategy, and even though he had Lee outnumbered more than two to one, he chose to dig in and set up a defensive perimeter. Lee jumped at this chance to take the initiative and take it he did. Lee split his army yet again and sent Stonewall Jackson and 25,000 troops around the right flank of the Union defenses and about 5:00p, rabbits, deer and other wildlife boiled out of the wood behind the Union lines followed closely by Stonewall Jackson’s cavalry and howling infantry. The Union infantry were gathered around their campfires making dinner and we caught completely by surprise and tumbled eastward in a headlong retreat. This action fragmented the Union infantry and the Confederates were able to isolate and crush them piecemeal. After a couple of days of this ass-whipping they and General Hooker were heading their young asses back to Washington in a total rout. It was in this battle and the Shenandoah Valley campaign that made “Stonewall” Jackson is a legend in the annuls of military history. Military historians call Lee’s action in this encounter as “the perfect battle”. This evening Stonewall Jackson was out scouting to find out where the Union positions ended up. He was shot by a Confederate soldier by accident. The wound cost him his left arm but it did not appear to be life threatening. They were wrong. Jackson developed pneumonia and died 10 days later. It was a terrible blow to the Confederate army.

1960 On this date I was in the United States Air Force stationed at Eielson AFB, Alaska. Eielson was an intelligence gathering and cold weather testing base, meaning there was a lot of spy planes that passed through there like RB-47’s, RB-66’s, RB-58’s, and an occasional U-2. I found out later that the U-2’s were capable of flying at or above 70,000 feet and the CIA believed that the Russians had no fighters or missiles that could reach that altitude so they would send U-2’s on over flights of Russia taking precision photos along the way. On one particular night, the klaxon began blasting and SAC intelligence officers ran up in the control tower with me and we spent the night together. The story was that the Russians had something interesting going on near the Bering Straits and our military wanted photos. This particular night they chose to send out an RB-47 and a KC-135 tanker. Neither plane got off the ground because the fuel was contaminated. To this day I think it was sabotage and so did the SAC officers. Speaking of U-2’s, later on one of them departed Karachi, Pakistan and was on his way to Buda, Norway, but it might have been vice-versa but in any event Russia is in the middle of that flight path. This spy flight U-2 was shot down in Russia with CIA pilot Francis Gary Powers aboard. The CIA was not worried, the said that there was no part of the plane that was identifiable as American and the pilot was suppose to commit suicide with a cyanide tablet that was aboard the aircraft, therefore President Eisenhower said it was a weather recon aircraft that had gotten off course. Little did President Ike know that the pilot had not taken the poison but was alive and in the hands of the Russians, parachute and a large chunk of the aircraft included. After this Ike had to admit it was indeed a spy flight and the relationship with the Russians hit an all time low. Powers was a prisoner for two years then he was swapped for master Russian spy Rudolph Abel. It seems that Abel had been spying for Russia on United States while on the ground and not aloft. Spying is spying.

1852 On this date Martha Jane Canary is born in Princeton, Missouri. Martha Jane became a legend in the old west by claiming to be the lover of Colonel George A. Custer and had indeed bore him a child. The history of the west and Custer in particular showed that this was a bullshit story. But she was indeed part of an expedition into the so-called sacred hills of South Dakota, better known as the Black Hills which the Cheyenne held sacred. It was there that she gained the nickname of Calamity Jane. She was probably just a laundress, but she was there. Eventually she ended up in one of the most famous towns of the old west, Deadwood South Dakota. It was there that she claimed that she was the lover of Wild Bill Hickok who was indeed a temporary resident of Deadwood but there is no evidence that she and Wild Bill ever got together. Eventually she told her tales so many times that she began to believe them herself. Jane eventually let the booze soak into her brain and she was found hiring her self out in a black brothel in a town called Horr, Montana. She was offered help but she said that she wanted to be left alone and “wanted to go to hell by her own path.” A few months later she was found dead in Terry, Wyoming. She was 51 years old.

1898 A few months before the US battleship Maine exploded in Havana harbor for reasons unknown. A naval investigation showed it was caused by a mine no matter whose it was but that was probably not the real reason. In any case, a series of events led to the United States and Spain declaring war on each other. At the same time US Commodore George Dewey was tasked by US President William McKinley with the destruction of the Spanish fleet in the Pacific. Dewey found the Spanish fleet anchored in Manila Bay in the Philippines. Dewey had all the ships in his fleet to extinguish their lights and on this night they sneaked into the harbor and deployed. At the crack of dawn Commodore Dewey issued the famous order to the commander of his flagship the USS Olympia saying “You may fire when ready, Gridley.” And Gridley indeed opened fire and 10 of the Spanish vessels were sunk in their moorings from which the Spanish navy never recovered. The Spanish-American War was over in short order after this fiasco.

Born today:

1922 US writer Joseph Heller. He said “Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include phlegm and tooth decay as his divine system of creation?” Joe Heller wrote the famous book “Catch 22”.

Answer to the trivia question
The family name of the past and present rulers of Monaco is Grimaldi.

                     Thanks for listening I can hardly wait until tomorrow