Good morning,
Quote of the Day,
"English actress Joan Collins has had so many men that here in the United States she is known as the British Open." Joan Rivers
Joke of the day:
How do you stop a Clemson Graduate from standing around on your porch?
Answer: Go ahead and pay for the pizza.
Of course you can substitute any entity for "Clemson".
"You might be a right wing Republican if you occasionally catch yourself saying 'Let's just bomb the hell out of the sons of bitches'". Al Campbell
Good news:
Hugh Hefner of Playboy fame has filed for divorce from his long time wife Kimberly. He and Kim were married in 1989 but agreed to separate in 1998. Kim moved into the house next door provided by Hefner to raise their two boys. The boys are now both in college. Hefner has been giving Kim $40,000 a month to raise the kids on. Now that they are nearly out on their own, Hefner want to cut back to $20,000 a month and he will cover is boy's college expenses. He wants all payment to Kimberly to stop in two years. If my math is correct, Hefner has invested about $50 million in Kimberly and the boys. There is no word yet on that the outcome will be, but in the meantime Hefner will go back into his mansion and take care of his three live-in Playmates. What a life!
Greenpatch Grime:
A few days ago two groups of men in their teens and early twenties got into a stare-down across the dance floor at a nightclub in Myrtle Beach, SC. named Afterdeck (been there). About 3:30a a fight erupted and a 23 year old and a 19 year old from Greenville attacked a 19 year old boy and stabbed him to death. These guys will get at least 20 years in the joint. They will go in vibrant young men and come out broken middle-aged men...and for what? It is crap like this that prevents me from going to that hell hole called Myrtle Beach, SC.
During Obama's speech Tuesday attempting to gather support for the Health Care Overhaul, He said the the new bill would NOT provide services for illegal aliens. At this point South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson jumped up and yelled "You lie". Obama just said "Not true" and kept pontificating. Wilson was called down by both sides of the aisle for that indiscretion. Wilson said he just lost his temper and apologised to everyone.
This date in history September 11
2001 Arab terrorists primarily from Saudi Arabia skyjack 4 US airliners and crash 2 of them into the twin towers of the World Trade center in lower Manhattan completely destroying them, crash one in the Pentagon and one of the skyjacked plane’s pig sucking coward terrorist are overcome by the passengers and the plane crashes into a field in central Pennsylvania. There were no survivors in any of the crashes. These pig sucking coward terrorist are supposedly sponsored and financed by Saudi national Osama Ben Laden and his network of pig sucking cowards known as al Qaeda. America was/is under attack and is in fact at war to this day. I just go to bed at night secure in the knowledge that America has sent out it’s own version of “terrorists” like A-Teams, Marine Recon teams, Air Commandos, SEAL teams and Delta teams who are out there in the world and are covertly capping those coward pig sucking sons-of-bitches and their families faster than a dog can trot.
1921 Movie star Fatty Arbuckle is arrested for the killing of starlet Virginia Rappe. It seems that the 350 lbs Fatty and Virginia were participants in a wild sex/drinking party in San Francisco at which Fatty, apparently in the male superior position, ruptured Virginia’s bladder from which she died a few days later. After two hung juries Fatty was acquitted and released but his movie career was dog shit from then on. It was the biggest scandal to ever happen to the movie industry up until that time. Fatty did continue as a director for several years using the pseudonym George Goodrich. He was credited with discovering comedian Buster Keaton which was one of the most sought after movie stars ever. Fatty died in 1933.
1971 Former Russian premier Nikita Khrushchev dies. Nikita was in power in 1961 during the Cuban missile crises. These were scary days, ya’ll. We were within a gnats ass of a nuclear exchange with the Russians but JFK and RFK among others got us out of that pickle and there were concessions on both sides primarily Russia remove the nuclear missiles from Cuba and we took our missiles out of Turkey which we were going to do anyway. It was a breath holding experience for us all.
1940 The most evil man in history Adolph Hitler orders the German army into Romania to capture its oil fields and oil reserves to bolster his attempt to conquer the free world.
1931 Crime mob boss Salvatore Maranzano is found strangled and stabbed to death in New York and there is little doubt that it was Lucky Luciano that ordered the hit. Luciano made millions of dollars and lived in the Waldorf Astoria but he claimed an income of $22,000 per year. His rent alone was more than this. In 1929 Luciano was captured and stabbed in the neck with an ice pick but fortunately for Lucky it missed the jugular. The police interviewed Lucky about the attack but Lucky said he had done it himself and that it was an accident. Several days later several bodies were found floating in the Hudson River and they all were “associates” of mobster “Legs” Diamond. “Legs” was never the same after that. Later on the Feds figured that they had enough evidence against Lucky to take him to trial and put in stir for the rest of his life. About then WWII broke out and the Feds made a deal with Lucky that if he would ensure that there would be no labor problems on the docks during the war effort they would not try him but deport him. Lucky died in Italy.
1857 A wagon train of pioneers/settlers from Arkansas and Missouri are massacred by Mormon guerillas and Paiute Indians while crossing Utah at a place called Mountain Meadows. The Mormons were pissed off because more and more non-Mormons were settling their lands and a few years before the Mormons were kicked out of Missouri and those settlers from Missouri chided the Mormons about it. The Mormon guerillas made a deal with the Paiutes, they would kill the men and the Paiutes would kill the women. In all there were 120 men and women killed. There were 18 children survivors. The US called bullshit on this and ordered Brigham Young to come up with another agreement whereby there would be a non-Mormon Governor and a US military presence would be allowed because they were coming anyway.
Born today:
1862 US writer O. Henry. He said “The only thing a straw vote does is tell which direction the hot air is blowing.” O. Henry was a cynical bastard.
1877 English physicist James Jeans. He said “From the intrinsic evidence of his creation, the Great Architect of the Universe now appears to be a pure mathematician.” This is clearly offensive to the Evangelicals.
1895 English writer D. H. Lawrence. Upon his return from a trip to France he said “It would have been better without the French people.” When I went to France in ’04, the ship stopped at La Havre, France and within 15 minutes of getting off the ship I was in a yelling match with some French son-of-a-bitch. Lawrence was right.
1925 US actress Grace Matthau. Grace was the wife of actor Walter Matthau who was hitting hard on a Hollywood starlet. Walter kept asking her what her age was and finally Grace came over and said “For God’s sake Walter, why don’t you just cut off her legs and count the rings.” That was good, Grace.
Thanks for listening…I can hardly wait until tomorrow…Goodbye from the land of Baptists, Methodists and some honest people.
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