August 30th

Good morning,


Quote of the day:

"Old age is that point in your life where the present fades into sepia and the past blooms into bright technicolor". Beryl Bainbridge

Three weeks from now I will be going on my yearly pilgrimage to Pensacola Beach, Florida. I will be gone two months (maybe more) and will be staying in the beautiful condos called Boardwalk. Again, I will be in Unit E-3 where I have stayed several time in the past. The scenery from the back deck is spectacular, right Leslie? As usual, I am excited.

Hey Brad, when Strom Thurmond died he was the longest tenured senator in American history. Since then he has been surpassed by Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia.

We have a state senator here in SC that has political ambitions to become a US Representative. The paper is full of him attacking the Governor and it is a thinly veiled attempt to get his name and picture on the media as much as possible. I wrote this jackass an e-mail. Here it is:

Senator Thomas,

The greater majority of the voting bloc I belong to truly believe that Rep. Bob Inglis has forgotten why is in Washington and does indeed need to be replaced. At first we thought it would be you. But now we are not so sure. The selective prosecution of Mark Sanford for inappropriate airline tickets is smoke screen and you and I know it. It appears is just a method to get your name in front of the citizenry so they will know who you are on the ballot. It is nothing but political posturing to make yourself as to appear like Sir Galahad riding forth to capture the evil-doers. I am neither friend nor foe of Sanford, but I am smart enough to not be fooled by your appearance of righteous indignation. The airline tickets are a tempest in a teapot. If you are outraged by the Governor's alleged misuse of airline tickets, then go after all that have misused them. Because if you don't, you will just be another hyena out there tracking down the blood of a wounded animal. As far as the morality of the Governor is concerned, that is between Sanford, his family and his God, and no one else. I read in a book once that said "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone." I am not interested in a politician's morality as much as I am his leadership and administrative capabilities. I am a self-styled historian/writer and I could write volumes about immoral people that were sterling leaders of nations. You need to have a talk with your campaign manager, We are looking westward toward Williamston for now. Trying to improve your political position by bathing in the blood of others does nothing but lower the opinion people have of you, that includes me and everyone else I can convince on my global blog. Have a good day.

Al Campbell

Yesterday afternoon I attended the meeting of the "4 o'clock club". Also in attendance was a female friend that I have known for several year. This girl is beautiful and a has sparkling personality. I asked her about her "significant other" (boyfriend) and she said all was not well. She said she found out that he had met another woman and had went out of town for a sleepover. When asked if she had been with another man while he was gone and she said yes, but that is different. I asked her what the difference was, she said that he had gone out of town for his tryst and he should have told her about it. But she admitted that after they first met, the issue of seeing other people was not discussed. I asked her if she told him about her encounter and she said no. I will never understand the female mind, y'all,

I went to see my urologist for a six month check-up after my prostate cancer therapy. This was my second visit after treatment and after doing a tactile examination, if you get my drift, he said that as far as he was concerned I was cured and I do not need to come back again for a year. I am very grateful.

Good News:

Over in Kansas City, Missouri 16 year Terence Barkley and a few members of his street gang decided they was bored and stole a car for a joy ride. As you might suspect, they were easily caught and sentenced to a prison terms. Instead of sending him to cells and razor wire, they sent Terence to a newly organized juvenile facility called Waverly Regional Youth Center. It later on became known as the "Missouri Model". There are no guards with batons and dogs, there are dormitories rather cell blocks and the inmates are sorted out into groups of 12 to15 under one or two guidance counselors. It worked for Terence. While at Waverly he became the editor of the faciity newspaper, the captain of the football team and on the honor roll. He earned a scholorship to Central Missouri University where he is majoring in criminal justice and is on the Dean's List. Several other states are looking close at the "Missouri Model" for their juveniles delinquents.

Greenpatch Grime:

The Anderson County Sheriffs department was called to a cattle farm where the rancher found a corpse floating in one of his farm ponds. It turned out to be the corpse of 42 year old Tarlock Padda. He had been reported missing for several days. His family said that Tarlock was last seen last Friday drinking heavily. They said he had been suffering from severe depression for quite a while. Drinking a known depressant such as alchohol is obviously not the answer for depression.

AUGUST 30TH

 

 

30BC On this date the infamous Cleopatra of Egypt commits suicide. Cleo was hell on wheels, ya’ll. She was not Egyptian but a descendant of a Macedonian (Greek) general named Ptolemy that was left in charge of Egypt by Alexander the Great in 323BC as he was passing through on his way east. Cleo was a dual ruler with her brother Ptolemy XIII after the death of their father Ptolemy XII. It was not long before Cleo and her brother got fed up with each other and a civil war erupted. Strangely, the most powerful nation on the planet was in the throes of civil war also and that was Rome. The civil war in Rome left Pompey the Great as the loser and he ran like hell to Egypt trying to escape the wrath of the winner, Julius Caesar. Pompey the Great was in Egypt about 15 minutes before he was skewered on a spear and killed because the Egyptians did not want Julius Caesar thinking they were siding with Pompey. Sure enough, here comes Julius Caesar looking for Pompey. He is shown the head of Pompey reassuring him that Pompey was dead and for him to not worry about Egypt’s alliances. While there he meets Cleo in a peculiar manner. She has herself wrapped in a carpet and taken to Julius where she appears when the carpet is unrolled. Cleo was a stone fox, ya’ll. Her beauty and skills at love making were legendary. Julius was smitten by this girl and they soon were lovers. Cleo did not give a shit about Julius except that he and his army and navy could help her win the civil war against her brother. Julius did not disappoint and soon Ptolemy XIII was dead and one of Cleo’s other brothers was named Ptolemy XIV. After this Julius goes on to Asia Minor to put down some rebellions. Cleo bears a son that she says was the spawn of Julius and names the boy Caesarian meaning “little Caesar”. Anyway, Julius was successful in putting down the rebellions and went back to Rome in triumph where Cleo and Caesarian joined him. Julius discreetly puts her and his son up in a separate house for appearances. But not long after this Julius got too cocky for the Roman Senate and is stabbed to death. This put Cleo in a pickle and she hauls ass back to Egypt. After she gets back to Egypt her brother Ptolemy XIV dies under suspicious circumstances. It is generally believed that Cleo poisoned him. Cleo promptly named Caesarian as Ptolemy XV. After Julius’ death a triumvirate (three rulers) was formed in Rome. It was Octavian, Mark Antony and Lepidus. These three split the Roman Empire into three sections with Mark Antony getting the Eastern Provinces meaning Egypt. Not long after arriving in Egypt Mark Antony meets Cleo and falls under her spell and Cleo bears twins by Antony. The triumvirate begins to collapse and a civil war between Antony and Octavian erupts. Antony and Cleo combine forces to combat Octavian’s army and navy. The combined force navy is defeated in the naval battle of Actium (Greece) and Cleo and Antony go back to Egypt. Octavian heads to Egypt looking for Antony to settle things once and for all. The two armies meet and Octavian prevails. Cleo is waiting for news and is told that Mark Antony had been killed and Cleo decides to commit suicide and holds a poisonous snake to her breast and is fatally bitten. But Antony is not dead and Cleo receives a note saying so but it is too late. Upon receiving the news that Cleo was dead, Antony stabs himself with his sword and dies also. Octavian promptly has Caesarian executed because he has Julius Caesars blood in his veins and may make a claim on Roman power later. Octavian later became know as Caesar Augustus and proved to be a very capable leader. What a story.

1862 On this date the Battle of Richmond, Kentucky occurs. This fight is one of the most lopsided in the Civil War. CSA General Kirby Smith is tasked with sweeping the US forces from central Tennessee and Kentucky. He is opposed by US General Horatio Wright. Wright decides to make a stand south of Lexington, Kentucky near the town of Richmond. Wright changes his mind and pulls his troops back north to the banks of the Kentucky River. There was one problem. The troops under the command of US General Mahlon Manson, 6,800 strong, did not get the word to withdraw and met the CSA army alone. The greater majority of Manson’s troops were new and had never experienced combat. The Confederates slammed into the Union center with a vengeance and the Union troops retreated about two miles and turned to make a stand. The Confederates delivered a withering attack and the Union forces retreated once again but this time the CSA cavalry commanded by Colonel John Scott cut off the retreat and it was all over. The end result was the Union forces had 1,200 killed and 4,800 captured, including General Manson and his entire staff, whilst the CSA had less than 100 casualties.

1989 In 1986 career criminal James Marlowe was paroled from Folsom prison. He gained the nickname ”The Folsom Wolf” while there. Soon after being released he met Cynthia Coffman and they hit it off famously. They did so well that they began traveling across the country together and they ended up in Tennessee and got married. For a wedding present Coffman had “Property of the Folsom Wolf” tattooed on her ass. They then headed west for California sponging off their relatives along the way. A woman named Corinna Novis disappeared from an ATM in Redlands, California. A few days later Lynel Murray is kidnapped in front of a dry cleaner in Orange County where Murray worked. A checkbook and other papers with both Novis and Murray names on them were found in a dumpster in Big Bear City, California. A lodge owner called the police and told them that the couple had just checked in. The police descended on the lodge and found the couple hiking in the nearby woods wearing clothes from Murray’s dry cleaner. They were tried and convicted of murder and on this date they were sentenced to death. Coffman was the first woman to receive the death penalty since its reinstatement in 1977. They both are cooling their heels on death row.

Born today:

1871 New Zealand physicist Lord Rutherford. He said “If your experiment needs statistics, you should have done a better experiment.”

1893 US senator Huey Long (La.). He said “Hard work is as over rated as monogamy.” Huey was also known as “Kingfish”. He was assassinated by an angry constituent.

1917 English statesman Denis Healey. After hearing a speech by a political rival he said “His speech was like being beaten with a dead sheep.” What a wordsmith.

1943 French ski champion Jean-Claude Killy. He said “To win you have to risk losing.” That is a good attitude for life also.

Thanks for listening I can hardly wait until tomorrow...